Candy’s thoughts

Characters:  Miss A, Mr B, Miss C and Mr D

Scene 1:

D was walking down the stairs from the carpark when C saw him once more… it has been a long time since they last met… C pretended that she had not seen him but deep in her heart… she was hoping that he would walk past and maybe, maybe, they could exchange some conversation…. it has been a long long while since they last talk to each other… 2 and a half years????….but D seems to have just disappeared…

Scene 2:

A was crying. She had just broken up with B. She was devastated… Her life had crashed… C was with A.…hugging her and comforting her….another sad story…. another love story that had failed… why???…. in walk in D, with a letter from B for A….why, why must it be D at this moment???….. A took the letter from D and her tears continued to trickle down her cheeks…. C looked into his eyes… D hands her a card and left…. C was surprised…. she opened the card immediately with her trembling fingers…. the first word she saw was ‘darling’ in a familar handwriting… C started to cry…. she tried to read on… but she didn’t know what she was reading …. her tears had blurred her vision…. All she was thinking was running after D and get him to explain but her feet were rooted to the ground…. she misses him…. She still loves him…. She wishes that D feels the same way too…. Why was D calling her darling once more????…..

Scene 3:

This is a dream… wake up…. It’s gonna hurt more if the dream continues…. Wake up…. Wake up… wake up….. its 7.39am….7^th June 2009… Sunday …. it’s useless…I m just as useless…. no matter how hard I try to push u out of my memory… no matter how hard I try not to think of u …..it dosen matter how 100% sure I m that it’s not going to work out….. ur image will still try to seep into my life subconsciously…. I feel so dumb once again…..

this years seems to be a bad year for me….. 2 accidents…. one in june (blended finger) and now one in november (dislocated knee)

guess i was too tired and not concentrating while blading along east coast park… or was i too busy looking out for some cute guys leh? hahahha… anyway, somehow, i made a 180 degree turn, looked down and saw my dislocated knee… i knew i was in deep shit….i sat on the floor… my right leg was twisted in some wierd angle… my lower right leg bone was very obviously out of the socket… there was an obvious bump not meant to be…it’s kind of pain but not very very pain… a young chap in green bent down and asked if i was ok… i was too shocked to say anything… thinking… who should i call? is it more logical to call for an ambulance??? hmm… so i asked the young chap to call for the ambulance… it was area 47…… and it happened around 540pm…..

such a coincidence, ah beng happened to be in that area…. at least a friend was nearby and it somehow gave me some comfort than to be surrounded by total strangers pointing and asking the same old questions…. are u ok??? need to call for an ambulance??? did u knock ur head??? are u ok??? need to call for an ambulance??? did u knock ur head??? are u ok??? need to call for an ambulance??? did u knock ur head??? …. then eve and joyce came…. then joyce’s friend…. i think i must have frightened them a hell lot… hahaha….

there was a crowd gathering… and i find them rather helpful…. a couple gave me a bottle of water, an indian *tried* to remove my roller blades…. i would rather he didnt help though…hahaha…. he was trying to yank it off…. OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! i was supporting myself with my left arm which went numb after a while and i just collapsed onto eve and my weight numbed her within the next few minutes as well… hahahha… time to lose some weight lo…

the ambulance arrived soon… i must say they are really fast!!!!…… gave me some gasous painkiller…hoping that i would concuss soon enough for them to move me onto the stretcher…. in my mind.. i was trying very hard to remember the last sentence that i could hear… i could feel my lips go numb, then my limbs…. and slowly i seems to be enveloped by white clouds….. and the peramedics had to move me onto the stretcher at this point of time…. why can’t they wait for me to be completely knocked out????… the pain was enough to wake me up completely…. arghhhhh!!!!!!!

the road to changi hospital was not smooth…i want to complain to the LTA la….. too many bumps and turns on the road le la…. luckily and so not luckily, one of the paramedics was holding on to my injured knee to minimise the movement…. then we reached the hospital and they moved me over to the hospital trolley bed….ouch!!! another movement….(but thank to this movement though)

pushed into the emergency ward, doctor lai came soon after and found that i was ok… the bump has mysteriously disappeared by itself… (i think it was the second movement from the stretcher to the hospital trolley bed that yank my bone back in place)….my knee was in perfect condition except that the inital bump area was still rather sore…. but still,  x-rays has to be taken… injection of pain killer and i had be in a cast for the next 10 days…..

good and bad though… hahhahaa…. no need to go for meeting, stock-taking, strat planning, core and non-core meeting…hahahaha….. and best, dun have to go genting with the school on 1st to 5th dec… which means i have that whole week to myself…..hahahah…. one more week of school holiday… =)

but feel abit bad also…cos i need to inform so many ppl and i would ‘hai dao’ other ppl cos they need to take over my job…. oopx…. but i would still try to go back on thursday and friday for the stellar training…. and i want to go for the musical on saturday also leh…. haix…

actually i have alot of happy things to blog about but these unhappy things just seems to outweigh them all…. if one post shows extreme happiness while the next shows extreme sadness… then will i be suffering from duo personalities????? hahahaha

anyway, bad things always happen at the same time and always at the end of the year for me….. both my relationship ended at the end of the year…last end of the year was horrible… this year is worse though i have many many great birthday celebrations this month as well…. life contradicts…

3rd october - betrayal

16th october - disappointment

18th october - terminal illness

lewei’s wedding was amazing…. so unique…. unlike all others that i had attended…. from the way the pictures were arranged for viewing…. to the march in…. dance floor….. and i love her wedding dress…also very unique…. it’s really her special and her dream wedding…. and i can tell she’s really enjoying herself at her wedding and not just going through the motion of having a wedding dinner lo….

written by a very happy miss candy…….

looked around the table……. ailing, chunyang, weixiong, alvin, zichao, siewmei, liping, xiaofen, lay teng, yuan and me……… all attached le except me and teng……. so sad, so heartbroken…..could feel the pain once more….

3 years le…… time passed……i have been loving a guy for 3 years le….amazing……especially when i dun even get to see the guy in the last 2 years…. ha…….. a painful slap will be easier to wake a stupid head like me up bah…… even the time together was a joke ….. was a backup….was a rebound…..ha…..the slap should have came earlier….. why did the rest keep it from me?????  although there’s no hope….i m still hoping for a miracle to  happen….for a fairytale story to end happily ever after….a fairytale ending did happened…just that it was not for me…….. there must be something seriously wrong with me…. ha…. dun understand why am i so reluntant to let go….. it wasnt very long …. it wasnt very lovly dovy ….. it’s was just simple and sweet….. maybe it’s the innocent feeling….. maybe it’s the puppy love feeling….. very likely i was just plain dumb…… ha….. life sucks!!!!!!!

i have always been good….. never hurt anyone intentionally before…. so y do i have to go through all these suffering????? yes.i call these suffering……. it’s worst then having to shoulder the whole family…….ha…….. how long more?????

written by a very hurt miss candy…….

was at the library today…. spent 3 hours there reading a book titled ‘ homeschooling’…. this is my next dream aka new cheese….

5 years back…. last semester in NTU…. dun know what i want to be after i grad from uni….. spent a few days rotting in bed…thinking and thinking…. thinking and thinking…. and suddenly…. i felt like having my own boutique…. immediately got a sketch book and started planning how my shop will look like… where am i getting my stock… what stock will i have in my shop… the name of my shop (Oh Babe!) and even designed the paper bag for my so called shop…haha…. a shop in dreamland…. i also went to the library to read up on books that ‘teaches’ me how to set up a small buiness… talk to my dad…in the hope that he will sponsor (throw money into the drain) me in my crazy quest to be a little boss…. haha…. the craziest thing was i even signed up for a 4 year degree fashion merchandising and marketing course with NAFA… paid the registration fee of $21++ le lo… but luckily didnt really paid the school fee …haha

in the end, i went to have hands-on experience at iora and eventually the executive…and realised that fashion is not the industry for me….but it’s nice to dream and really work hard in terms of research and looking forward to something for that few months….

ppl do live for their dreams…and life is definitely more fun and exciting and more life-like with dreams…else so boring and so monotonous leh….

anyway, i went into tuitioning at smartlab where i partially found my passion… teaching…. i enjoy teaching…enjoy creating materials to teach..enjoy using different approaches to teach and enjoy seeing my pupils perform academically well under my guidance and nagging…hahaha… and most of my kids love me oh… kids are just so much more appreciative and lovable …. but somehow i got rope in into the admin aspect of work and i no longer enjoy my life there….

jumped into NIE and enjoyed another 3 years of fun…. learning how to teach… but life will never be a bed of rose for long…. now 3 years into my job with moe…i m getting sianx…double sian and triple sianx again….. more and more admin stuff….more and more shitty stuff…. till i dun have time to plan to teach my kids…. somehow i feel like i had let them down by not really doing my best for them because most of my energy have been used up to do my course assignment, planning school events, assissting department to do this and that and these and those….

the longer i stay in the school…the more i think that the singapore education system is not forgiving to those who have learning differences from the average pupils… and it’s really very difficult for children to catch up with their peers once they lose out at pre-school. …and this gives birth to my new cheese… =)

a homeschool…… i want to set up a homeschool after i finish my bond…. nonono… after i get my connect plan….. hahaha…. although may abort this new cheese but at least it keeps me occupied now…..

to conclude…i m always dreaming of doing my own things…i m an individualist…one who dun like to be ordered around…one who dun like to force myself to do things i dun like….all in all…i m a selfish person…. =P

It has been a while since i blog…. been really really busy this term…. sians….

Life is hard

went to watch Money No Enough 2 last week… a show without any yantaos or babes, a show without any spectacular effects or fantastic story plot but a show enough to make me cry till both my eyes swelled…. =(

since watching the show, i have been wondering what is the percentage of parents giving up on their children when they were just newly born, soiling their nappies and crying throughout the night. Did many parents just dump their babies at some babies homes and don’t bother about them? maybe there are some irresponsible parents in the world but i have a feeling that it will definitely be much less than the percentage of children who dumped their parents in old age homes when their parents grow old and became bed-ridden and senile. And was there any parents who make their babies sleep in the toilet because they kept soiling themselves?

How can children give up on their old parents when their parents didnt give up on them in the beginning? if a person can be rich enough to send his/her parents to an old age home, i think he/she can also afford to hire a maid or a nurse to look after his/her old age parents bah…

Putting myself in their shoes, i think it’s so pitiful, so ‘bu zhi de’, so stupid of me if i had worked so hard, made so much sacrifices to raise some kids but eventually ended up having to live in the toilet or be sent to the old folks’ home and having no visitations from my own kids and grandkids. like what my mum always say, i rather give birth to some roast pork, at least still can eat lo…. 

Life is fragile

Do u know what influenza virus can do to u? It gives me a sneezing nose so far but it also took my friend’s father’s life. This uncle was a very healthy man who cycles every day and would join us for our BBQs and would chat with us whenever we popped by his place. the flu virus attacked his heart muscle causing heart failure. his blood pressure plunged and his organs started to fail one by one… he had to rely on life supporting machines soon after. and then he was gone…

this episode reminds me to be nicer to my mum…. i dun wanna any regrets if my mum is to leave me… actually, i m rather nice to my mum oh. although i dun give her nice gifts or treat her to expensive meals, i am always there for her oh, listening to her naggings and never-ending stories without putting on a long face oh… and whenever she faces a problem, i m always the one who will solve or partially solve it for her oh… and i m proud of that…hahaha…

mummies always deserve a hug from their children…. it’s a way of saying thank you for all the sacrifices such as putting on weighs from the child birth, becoming a yellow face auntie from disciplining the children and keeping the household clean etc etc… mummy, i love u…muackz muackz, muackz,

hmmm….. i want to make a cup of carrot & orange juice…but there’s a piece of starfruit inside the juice blender…. so what should i do leh???? take it out la….u may say….but no lo…. it should be…switch off the bloody juice blender…wait till it has completely stopped…then take the starfruit out…..but i learnt it the hard way…. so end up with a big fat index finger lo…..pain pain….

Bang Bang Bang!!!!………"Oh no, I had overslept! Oh my Tian! I will be volunteered to treat breakfast again le! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!"… Schedule supposed to be wake up at 430am, chunyang to fetch us at 445am then meet the rest at woodlands mrt at 5am…. because of me and joyce, we were 10 minutes late…. =(   (but luckily, they dun remember so we dun have to treat!!!! hahahaha….so..sssshhhhhhh)

there was a two hour jam and we only managed to get into JB at around 730am…. i was so tired that i was sleeping like a piggy for that 2 hours lo….(as usual)…hahaha… i m someone who can sleep anywhere and anytime de wor…hahaha

breakfast was the heaviest noodle in the world (ONETON noodle) followed by another 2 hour drive to mersing ferry terminal… we had GREAT fun in our in-car YAN3 CHANG4 HUI4 and si-ma naming session lo… we have si-ma-yan-tou, si-ma-san, si-ma-wu-lui and me, si-ma-acbc….=)   (i will give a treat to anyone who can guess all the four names oh…heee)

We reached the terminal at around 10am+ only to find out that THERE WAS NO TICKETS… and the next available ferry ticket will be at 430pm….bloody hell, we have like 6 hours to do nothing lo… after some searching, they managed to get 7 tickets at 1130am… so 7 of them left for tioman first…leaving the 5 of us, yang, ling, joyce, me & beng to self entertained …

we take our own sweet time to walk here walk there to find a nice restaurant to have a long long lunch. We settled on Chicken Delight and i had a total of 5 scoops of ice-cream for lunch…hahaha…. and it was here that we recruited our 5th si-ma member, he is called si-ma-jia-sia, hahaha… luckily, we found a cyber cafe which entertained us for another 2 hours… then we went to Giant to buy some water and snacks before proceeding back to the ferry terminal again….

AND REALLY REALLY BLOODY HELL…. the ferry was delayed…. we finally boarded the ferry at 515pm…. really is !@#$%^&*(!*…. these KT are really super inefficient lo… guess we should just pay slightly more for package diving trip next time instead lo… so many cock-ups when we do free and easy… last year redang trip was like that, now tioman trip also like that…super pissed off…

we finally reached tioman island at 730pm… my face was totally BLACK…. wasted one whole day of my holiday just waiting and travelling from singapore to tioman… what the F***! had dinner, bathe then sleep!!!!!

The next morning, a fresh morning, my first dive… =)… but just a normal dive, nothing interesting… just normal fishes, normal corals, though the fan corals were rather huge… but this time round, i had the chance to meddle with the underwater camera….just snapped and snapped and snapped… very fun… loved the many many schools of small fishes around me…. it’s just so fun to be underwater….the current was very strong… i could see the trio in front of me dancing from left to right to left to right…so funny…hahaha… but this also result in siewmei having a very bad motion sickness…

2nd dive was way way way much better but all of us forgot to bring the underwater camera down with us…it’s always like that…sianz… we saw 3 turtles, 1 stingray, 2 nudibranchs and my first sotong…. hahaha..i could not see the sotong at first untill the dive master dragged me really close to it…the sotong is really cute oh…brownish with this flurry kind of thingy surrounding it…then keep on ‘tumbalek-ing’….

then lunch… was planning to have a swim by the pool or suntanning by the beach then followed by banana boat de…but very sad cos banana boat was not in working condition and the non-divers missed their snokelling timing… leaving them to have nothing to do for the whole trip at tioman… but luckily for very SMART si-ma-acbc (aka ME la)…hahaha… we went to ABC beach and managed to get ourselves a cheap snorkelling session at the marine park… (it was the exact same snorkelling spot when i went with lewei and the duos 6 years ago..brought back alittle memory of the first…especially when yang and ling talked about their experience of living in a kampong… i remembered another someone telling me that he would bring me for a holiday in his grandma’s kampong house in Msia de lo…haiz)

snorkelling dun seems as fun compared to diving…hahaha…but i had fun relaxing in the marine park…then we went to take more bo liao photos at ABC beach… we had hot, marigold jump, star, slippers flowers etc etc followed by BBQ dinner and a short chill out drinking session at the pub.. the bartender cum waiter cum boss? was rather entertaining… i liked the card games he used to  keep us occupied… then bathe, had a great great game of ‘HEE HAW! BANG! AH! HEY BURT!… i was the overall winner oh, only did 10 push ups while ah beng was the overall blur sotong…hahaha… he did 35 push-ups lo…. bed time

check out and go home time!!!…ferry was SUPPOSED to be at 10am but as USUAL, the ferry was DELAYED AGAIN…and we managed to board the ferry at around 1130am… and the same STUPID ticket conductor had to wake us up TWICE to check  our tickets… !@(*@^$^… had a yucky lunch at the terminal and another 2 hours drive + 3 hours jam at the custom…but there was a fun part to this part of the journey… we witnessed a car stunt performed by some reckless msian driver… difficult to translate into words leh… so for those who witness it, u know, i know can le la…hahaha… those who dun….too bad lo… =P

conclusion: THIS TRIP IS ALL ABOUT WAITING & WAITING & MORE WAITING!!! NOT AS FUN!!! MAYBE TOO BIG A GROUP BAH… DESARU TRIP WAS BETTER ALTHOUGH THERE WASNT ANY DIVING…

Rating: 2/5

Just came back from a spa retreat in Batam. The spa itself was good…i will definitely go back again… it just feel so nice to be pampered… but it would be even better if i was accompanied with my darlin oh..haha…

i was given a cup of ginger tea as i wait for my turn. i ‘qiao’ up my legs, flipped open a magezine and started day dreaming… hahaha… the magezine was just for show only… i was captivated by the sea and the sky which was just right in front of me… the sound of waves splashing against the rocks below the spa villa was so calming, so relaxing, so perfect… felt so relax…

the wait was rather short (i wished it was longer…haha) i was led to a room where i will be having my full body sea view massage… the lady was kind enough not to torture me with her extreme strength so i really felt good… =)

after the 1 hour massage, took a short rest, then i was led into another room where i get to ENJOY my 20 minutes hydro bubble bath… dun really know how it is beneficial for the body… but i had alot of fun playing with all the bubbles ALL BY MYSELF in the big open air room… shiok siah!!!… i was so sad when the lady came in to say that i can now bath and the session was over le… luckily, i was still entitled to an 1 hour body scrub the next day… =)

I LOVE THIS KIND OF LIFESTYLE….relaxed and pampered… muack!!!!!!!

it has been so very very the busy for me for the last few weeks……… so many courses (can up to 4 courses a week), so many class activities and worksheets to prepare, so many books, journals, compo, worksheets to mark on weekdays…… really can die ah………..then still got house practice (thank God, it’s over le), remedial, CCA, contact time, level meetings, core and non-core meetings!!!!!!!!!…. WHO DARE TO SAY THAT BEING A TEACHER IS EASY??? classes do end at 1pm (half day) but on most days, i leave the school after 4pm and bloody hell, we start work at 7am lo…. =( BUT we do have paid school holidays….hahahaha… and this is the main attraction to y i m still a teacher…. not to forget, my kids are rather cute this year too… =) other than work, weekends are also very busy, busy with hanging out with friends. the circle of friends have changed due to work change (eve), ppl buying new cars (joyce), ppl busy with work and dating (yuan)… hahahahabut i m so glad i still have chunyang around most of the time to entertain me….=)… i guess i will have him until little yang yang and little ling ling pop out bah…. till then, then i will have to advertise for new friends again le… things to look forward to 1) Paintball session with the gang 2) Macrichie to bukit timah walk with the gang again 2) Tioman trip on vesak day holiday with the gang again and again 3) Australia trip in june with the school (finally it’s a different group of ppl) hahahaha…. i sound like i only have 1 group of friend leh…… =(… but nvm, at least i have them…. life’s getting a little boring although there’s so MUCH activities going around… need some excitment … what can i do???? hmmm…. take a course????